My 4 Types of Female Friendships

Yes, I know Saturday was #GalentinesDay, but it was cold and I was grumpy and bored, so I didn’t write and I’m doing it now instead. Deal with it.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a lot of different types of female friendships, and like most people, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten pickier about the relationships I maintain. I have to be since I work and actually want to spend time with Ricky and the boys. Anyway, with the advent of Galentine’s Day, I took a moment and realized that the female friendships I still have can be broken out into 4 main categories.

The long-haulers

There are a 2 friends who have been in my life for more than 20 years now, Julia and Lacey. These are my long-haulers, and our friendship formed from dance classes we took together as “kids” at Ibsen Dance Theatre. We don’t get to see each as other often as we would like (especially with Lacey living in Boston – but at least she’s back stateside again), but pre-pandemic we always tried to get together as a trio at least once a year.

With the pandemic, we’ve started a group chat that’s filled with updates about Jules’ and my kids, Lacey’s adventures with her clients and dance career, venting about politics and the like. We might not always see eye-to-eye about everything, but we love and are always there for each other. And since I’m the youngest in the group, it’s like I’ve got 2 awesome big sisters.

Jules, Sass and Preston

The mentors

Since entering the professional world, I’ve had the good fortune of meeting a number of women who are forces of nature in the world of MARCOM and PR. And luckily for me, some of them have decided to tolerate me long enough to take me under their wing. My “mentor” friends are the sorts whose drive and gumption I aspire to. They are the ones who know what they want to do, and actually figure out a way to do it.

The range of their accomplishments is awe-inspiring.

  • I first met Donna when I joined the KC/IABC Board shortly after Ricky and I moved back to KC from FL. As the secretary of the board, I reported directly to her (the VP) and we bonded over our love of running, yoga, dance and being extroverted introverts. Since then, even though we’re no longer serving together, we’ve stayed close. I love how she doesn’t let anything stop her from chasing what she wants. She has not only started her own management firm for athletes, but during the pandemic she’s accomplished her goal of becoming a published author.
  • Marcia and I first met 6 years ago when I started the interviewing process for the health system. Obviously she decided she liked me enough to hire me. During that time, we’ve grown to be a team and we readily bounce ideas off of one another, have inside jokes, and can have direct conversations as to why something will or won’t work. She not only encourages me in all aspects of my career (as good managers should), but she’s an artist who’s sold some gorgeous pieces of work (she painted custom pics for both boys as a gift) and is finding a way to do more of what she loves with her art.

The keyboard warriors

My digital friends! These are the lovely ladies who I’ve either met through social media platforms, or who I primarily communicate and stay in touch with through them. Some of these friends are silver (new and who I haven’t had the chance to meet IRL yet – hi Kelly!) and the others are gold (old and who I’ve known for a long time – hi Ellen, Amy and Katie!), but seeing a message from them, or chatting with them is enough to bring a smile to my face.

What’s nice is the variety these friends bring to my life. Almost none of them have a damn thing in common, but they’re entertaining and I’m lucky to have them. Hopefully after vaccines are more readily available, I’ll actually be able to see them in person more again (and come up with a different header as a result), but for now I’m just happy to have them in my life.

The work friends

We all have one thing in common, working at the health system (or did, *coughStaceycoughcough*), and we’ve bonded over it as a result. You can’t really survive working there without at least a slight sense of humor – we’ve seen some stuff, and so I’ve met some of my all-time favorite coworkers (or brought them into the fray, looking at you Sara and Jess) during my time here. Without these gals, I don’t know that I would’ve survived the pandemic as well as I have to this point in time. Looking forward to being able to give my fellow huggers in the group a big hug again someday. And while I enjoy working remotely, on the one-offs where we’ll have to go into the office again I can’t wait to actually see your faces in person.

Of course this list isn’t exhaustive, family isn’t in here for example, but please know this: If you’re in my life, in any way, shape or form, I’m very lucky to have you. You know that I can be awkward, and you’re still here. Thank you. I really, and truly appreciate each and every one of you.

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