In This House

In our dining room, we have one of those signs that describes the “house rules,” kinda sorta. A lot of the ones available in stores have a religious bend to it, which wasn’t a good fit for us. Fortunately, we eventually found one that was a close enough fit.

Hanging sign with house rules
Ah, the days of the buffet actually being clean…

As you can see above, even then it’s not quite right. We strive to do all of those things, but since we’re human we (especially me) fall short quite often.

  • Sign: We do second chances. Reality: We do second, third, fourth, fifth, etc.
  • Sign: We do grace. Reality: Well, we do have good manners. How many other 5-year-olds do you know who will say “excuse me” after farting (though it may be preceded by peals of laughter)?
  • Sign: We do love. Reality: Isn’t that one a bit of a given? We do love, and in doing so we accept that arguing and tempers and whatnot are a part of our reality. Especially since we’ve all been stuck together for 2+ months lately.
  • Sign: We do mistakes. Reality: More like we do fuck ups. All. The. Time. Even (especially?) the parents.
  • Sign: We do hugs. Reality: Bone-crushing hugs. And wrestling. And tackles. And jumping attacks. And, and, and. Living with all boys guarantees living with bruises.
  • Sign: (We do) Family. Reality: We might want to kill each other at times, or at least pull our hair out, but you can count on us always being there for one another when the times get tough. And hoo boy, are they tough right now.

Additionally, in our house, there are some other ground rules you might want to keep in mind upon entry (ya know, once this whole quarantine thing is fully lifted):

  1. Always watch where you walk. Between the baby crawling everywhere and the random LEGO minefields, it’s for your own safety.
  2. It will be loud. Both boys are fans of talking at the top of their lungs. If you’re noise sensitive, you might consider bringing headphones or something like that.
  3. Conversations will be interrupted. See no. 2.
  4. Beware of flying projectiles. Toys. Caiden. The possibilities of something flying toward your face are endless.
  5. A Midwestern goodbye is expected. As an introvert I might be itching to get you out of the house after an extended amount of time, but for whatever reason it will take at least 20 minutes from when the process starts before you back out of the driveway. I blame my grandma, she was the master of this process.

So, welcome to the insanity. I’ve sort of lost track where I was going with this whole thing, but that’s not surprising giving everything I listed above. Now, to find out what that bang was.

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